Tim Keller, on marriage

My pastor has given Adrian and me nine sermons on marriage to listen to; it's a series by Tim Keller, PCA pastor from New York City. We've been trying to listen to one or two a week, and then discuss them over the phone. I highly recommend them, and I think I speak for Adrian too when I say that :-).

Tim Keller defines deep marriage oneness as coming from the process of two people journeying to a common horizon. For the Christian, this common horizon is heaven, and the journey together sanctifies. The whole series just oozes grace, but I especially like what Keller has to say about the sanctifying effects of marriage. He talks about how focusing on this common horizon and on sanctification can give a married person a vision of what God wants his spouse to become, and what they will be someday without the shackles of sin. And we should want others to catch that same glimpse of the beauty of this person.

Keller talks about the "glory self" and the "dross" in a person. The glory self is the person deep inside, the potential that God will bring to fruition in glorification. We get glimpses of this glory self in others sometimes, just as we get glimpses of a covered mountain when a wind blows away the clouds of fog for a brief moment. The dross in a person is the sin, the filth that God will slowly burn away through trials - and one of the ways He purifies people in this is by marriage. Marriage is a very sanctifying experience.

Now comes the part of one of his sermons that particularly struck both Adrian and me. Keller is speaking about dross and says that a non-Christian (or any spouse that is not Christ-centered, since Christians are not immune to self-centeredness) will look at the dross, the filth in his spouse and become disillusioned and discontented by his spouse, and say "I can envision someone better." This is why marriages end; one spouse wants to seek for someone who is better.

A Christian should look at his spouse, and not ignore the dross blindly. And he should say, like the non-Christian, "I can envision someone better." But the Christian should be envisioning his spouse as that "better" person, purified and sanctified; he should want the perfection that his spouse will become - the glory self that has been glimpsed - not chase after someone else's perfection. And he has the privilege of helping his spouse grow into that person. Wow. That is the promise, the beauty of the Gospel.

Gospel v. Moralism

I'm enjoying everyone's thoughts here on whether or not the 1940's was "The Greatest Generation" (Tom Brokaw's terminology, not mine), just as bad as our current generation, or even far worse. I think it would be helpful to clarify the difference between an outwardly "good" society, and a society permeated with the Gospel.

My only point in posting the article was to contrast (very briefly) the society of the 1940's with today's society. I find the difference in childhood expectations, parental and child responsibility, respect, and outward morality to be great. The important thing to remember, though, and I should have clarified this when I posted, was that "good works" does not a good man make. It is far easier in many ways for parents to teach their children godly principles if those principles are also generally supported by the society, or at least not flagrantly disregarded. But only Jesus can do helpless sinners good.

The Gospel is the opposite of moralism. Let me say that again. The Gospel is the opposite of moralism. Moralism is an attempt to make ourselves good enough before God and man. The Gospel tells us we can never make ourselves good enough. We are so utterly corrupt that we need someone else to cleanse us from the inside out. We cannot earn our own righteousness. We need Christ's righteousness. If our goal as Christians is merely to get back to the 1940's, or the 1800's, or whatever our preferred ideal era, then we are far too unambitious. The story of the Bible is one of redemption, not merely from outward evils, but most of all from inward evils. We are our own worst enemies.

So let's enjoy past decades and appreciate the great men and women who have gone before us. But ultimately we must realize that God is sovereign. He placed us in this century for a purpose. It took me years to truly be greatful to be born in this time period, and that gratitude to God only came when I began to appreciate and grasp (in a small way) His sovereignty.

Also, let's remind each other of the great work God is doing in the world here and now. Look at the great progress of the Gospel in Asia and Latin America. We must pray in faith for a revival to sweep our land as well. Christ is reigning, and someday He will reign in all His fulness. Thanks be to God!

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.